I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
