one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
