Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
