Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
