drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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