I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
