dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
