Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize