She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
