Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize