There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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