My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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