Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
