He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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