this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
