Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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