After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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