I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
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