O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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