butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
