I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
