I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
