Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
