would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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