I CAN MOONWALK!
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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