Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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