is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
