I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
