apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
