So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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