you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
