what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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