Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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