You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize