I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
