i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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