Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
