this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I need a burrito and a hug.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
