okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
