tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
