Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
