Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
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