i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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