Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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