No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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