I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
