it was like his penis was on wheels.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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