Sry I called you an 8
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
