As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
