Fine. I'll sleep in my office
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
