There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
