do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize