I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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