i don't like sucking hair
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
