Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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