Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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