stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
