he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
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He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
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Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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