I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
