Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
