Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He? As in you personified your dick?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
