I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
